The Past

Hey Hey!

 Just sitting in my room.

 TV is on something, but couldn't tell you what. 

All the Kids are sleeping. 

Corey is at Praise and Worship rehearsal! 

DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS>>

This means that I AM ALONE!! This does not happen often. So, what should I do? My brain can't help but think. The past few months there has been so much change in my life. All of it for the better. I have never been so happy as I am now. But with all growth comes some struggle. Unfortunately, I have been forced to open doors of my past and expunge the lies that was created from it. This process has been a blessing in that it shows me just how far I have come. However, my A.D.H.D. brain will not stop there. I have gone on to ponder on this place of existence, the Past! 

Most of these thoughts have only brought questions. It is so abnormal to look back on your life and really feel as though you have lived two. What part of what is behind you do you bring forward? Where do you draw the line between lessons learned and being a slave to your mistakes? 

I have found peace that I have been forgiven for my Sins. The past is no more in the eyes of my God. However, humanity isn't always as kind. Few people believe in true maturation and change. I used to be the person. I was very judgmental of people who professed to had changed. How must we respond to these people? As a follower of God, who strives only to serve Him, how are we to respond to those who only for reason of our past, judge the change within us? 

And-there are others' past. The past of those whom have entered into our lives. In the midst of all the blessing they may bring, how do you handle the lives they have lived? I do not mean one of sin, or their ability to move on. I genuinely am searching for the ability to not compare myself, or lives to the remnants of another. 

Conclusion: Choose Wisely who  you share intimate moments with. And I do not just mean sexual ones. I mean life events. Things that can never be replaced. I can only conclude the BEST way to deal with the past is contemplate your future. One of the biggest realizations I have come to recently is how important the decisions I made either for an escape or just being stubborn, were. 

Make memories with those you love and those who love you. Invest in those who will invest in you. Realize there are SEASONS in your life. Very few people you come into contact with will remain with you forever. Appreciate the ones who do, and learn from the ones who don't. 

Above all, Lean on YOUR creator! Search his word. Accept Him as your Savior, and Take everything to Him. He will always be with you. He will never hold something you did two years ago against you. He will guide your life in the way HE has planned for you. And it will be BETTER than anything you have Ever known. My wish for you is all these. That you also may find yourself alone, reveling in the blessings He has given you. 

And with that MY HUBBY is HOME :) 

Good Night :) 

Find your Purpose then Loose Yourself

Hello again! It has been a minute since my last blog! First, I hope you are all well and enjoying blessings daily. While doing some preparation today, I ran across some material and did some thinking...result

NEW BLOG POST! 

Hope you Enjoy!

I feel so blessed to witness God working every day I awaken. It is amazing the things that have been opened to me since embracing the freedom only my Creator can give. Recently, Pastor Jason has began leading our church in a message on Legacy. With the passion I carry for leadership, I am ULTRA excited about this series. I literally count down to Sunday. This, partnered today with my passion, as I was asked to do some leadership training again. Oh, how I miss leadership training. 

While I was doing some research to prepare for the next couple of weeks in secular business, I was revived. I could feel the energy in my hands as I wrote agendas for the training, set goals on what we wanted to accomplish, identified obstacles we may encounter. Even thinking about it, I get butterflies. However, today was different. While preparing the training today, I noticed that I pulled quite a bit of the information from notes I had written in church on Sunday! And that my friends, is the conception of this blog!

Tonight, I want to pose to you a challenge.

 It's not directly from me. It is found within the depths of all of you. It most definitely was in me. It is the motivation to move forward. It is the question that keeps us up at night. It is the quest that often times is never finished. In it's absence, it is the cause of harmful choices. It is the challenge to:

 Find Your Purpose

We have heard of this. It is nothing new. However, I promise you the challenge does not end there. I also challenge you to:

Loose Yourself

 We are all created with Purpose. We were deliberately created. We are not the result of some random explosion. We were made by a divine Creator and Savior, and He has distinct plans for you! (Jeremiah: 29:11)

I know what you are thinking. "Ok, if I was created with a purpose, how do I find it?" 

What are you Passionate about? 

Passion is the great energizer. Most often in life, passion links with Purpose. Passion always stands out and sets you apart from the crowd. Passion breeds hope. When things seem impossible, it is the very core of what will keep you going. We were never promised living out our purpose will be easy. Eventually you will need the energy produced to take the extra step, step out of your comfort zone, walk deeper into the ocean. 

What are you Good at? 

What are your strengths? What Gifts do you have? God gave you gifts. When you find them, you will be good at them. You will be energized by them. You will have the Opportunity to use them, and create the capacity to develop them. 

This reminds me of something I teach leaders regarding Positioning people. It is called the Quadrant of Doing Theory. This theory encourages people to find their quadrant of doing, which is made up of what one likes to do and what he/she is good at. This is success. 

When I think of success and finding purpose, I can't help but then to ask myself, "What is the difference between success and significance?"  Honestly, there was once a time when I didn't feel there was a difference. But today it was so clearly revealed to me.

Success adds Value to Ones Self, Significance adds Value to Others.

There are very few people I have came across in my life that get this part right. My mother in law, Janet McMullen, is one of these people. She is the professor that will never retire. The one whose job is so much more than the courses she teaches. She found her purpose, and lost herself. Spending many times investing in her students, praying with them, teaching them. Living with a hotline to Heaven. Praying for others daily. 

When your purpose becomes bigger than you, you lose yourself. We often begin because we want to make a difference. If you then strive to make a difference doing something that makes a difference beyond you, you are beginning to lose yourself. Even more maturing to making a difference doing something that makes a difference beyond yourself with other people who make a difference. You are becoming significant.

Jesus tells us in Mark 8: 34-35 "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life would lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel's will save it." If you are bigger than your purpose you have a career, however when your purpose becomes bigger than you, you have a calling. Imagine putting your purpose to work with people that has eternal factors involved. This my friends, is a whole other level of living. 

That is all my friends- I wish you all blessing and love. 

--Everytime you put ALL of you into someone else, something bigger, EVERYTHING changes.--

-Ashleigh Mc

Letter To Me...

A Letter To Me-

If I could rewind pages, and see what I have seen,

Take all of my lessons, and write a letter to me,

What kind of solution would it give my Heart today?

I may not know the answer, but Here is what'd I'd say.

Lift your heart to Heaven at a younger age,

Bind up your rebellion, hit your knees, and beg for God's grace.

It's not that important, in the grand scheme of things,

Don't sacrifice yourself for someone else's dreams.

There's more to your existence, than what you see today,

God is there waiting, hoping you will soon find your way.

Your days shall soon be filled with temptation, you will not be able to bear,

Hold onto He who knows you, 

LET GO OF YOUR FEAR!

The comfort you so desperately seek, from your choices in men,

Lies in your Heavenly FATHER,

Let Him take away your sin!

LET HIM IN!

Surrender, yea I know, for your that's hard to take,

But I've seen you when it's over,

and He guides each step you make!

I've seen that light shine through you, and the happiness He brings,

When your goal becomes to only amplify the story of our King!

I've felt the  peace within you, that you so desperately crave,

When you give ALL to Jesus, 

and sent your sins to the Grave.

Be still sweet child, He's waiting, Your path has just begun,

And even when you are forgiven, there's still a race to run.

Trials will befall you, because they are what make your grow!

Your going to question which way you need to go,

Lift your heart to heaven, fall upon your Knees,

Hold Closely To Your Savior,

Let Him Guide Your Feet.

 Although, I can not go back, and speak these words to me,

they will live inside my children and all those who may wish to read!

That maybe some young girl, with a longing to be loved,

or maybe just someone who doesn't know how their hole was dug,

Someone looking for direction, or just encouragement,

May get a little peace in knowing, I've been where you have been!

----Much Love! 

Ashleigh Mc

Small Blessings

Good Morning! 

What a beautiful Tuesday Morning! One of my greatest blessings recently is my drive into work. Although losing 12 hours a week to the road is not ideal, it does give me a lot of God time. I have began spending my mornings either with devotionals or in prayer. This is such an amazing way to start the day. A great way to put things in perspective. This morning, I had a few revelations, I thought I would share. 

1. What a glorious creation: 

               While on the way in this morning, and every morning the past couple of weeks, with the time change, my scenery has changed tremendously. Instead of driving in the darkness, I now leave the sunrise behind me. It is an amazing sight. I have tried to think of ways to safely capture it in film. Often the moon is in front of me and the sun is coming up in my rear view mirror. Leads me to the analogy, that sometimes although we make changes in seasons in our life, there may be some light in our past. Lessons that shine like the sun to enlighten our future. Don't be afraid of your mistakes or the things you've left behind. Analyze them as you move forward. Often the teachers of the New Testament, even Jesus our Savior, used examples from the Old law to teach us things. 

2. The Christian army is the most quick to shoot it's wounded:

               Clarity on this hit me like a ton of bricks this morning. While listening to Dr. Meyer's "Divorce Conspiracy" this morning, he stated that if Jesus were to come back to minister today, he wouldn't be accepted at most of His churches. I completely agree with this. The picture we are given in the inspired Word of Jesus is one of a Man who was not an island into himself, but one who got involved in the ugly in the world and shined so brightly, people would clean up their lives! The picture of a man who LOVED irrationally. Who was Merciful! Whose desire is that ALL would come to Him! I truly believe that loving people irrationally is the answer. This only strengthens my faith in Refuge Church and Jason Parks! While speaking to Corey this morning on the phone after I finished the CD, I told him that I think if Jesus did take on a physical body today and come back to earth he and Pastor Jason would probably be best friends! It gives me great comfort to see the life of Jesus is my Pastor. (Church Plug--If you do not have a church family, Refuge just may be the avenue waiting to change your life!!--if Definitely was mine!)   

Once at the Office......

My sweet friend Abby has lost a good friend today. My heart is with her for all the void that is and is to come in the next few days, weeks, months, and years. I wish for fast healing for her. 

I learned something from her though, as she was walking off, at the age of 24 with all of life in front of her, a blessing escaped her lips. She said "Life is so short..." This got me thinking. No offense, but it's not overly philosophical just the right statement at the right time. (I call these angel kisses.) Over he past few months death has been pretty close to home for me. However, I have found comfort in knowing that death is not the end, for me it's only the beginning. God's design has a lesson for all of us. I pray I remain this aware of my mortality, and keep the Goal of a life in Heaven on my heart always. It is so easy to get caught up in the world we now live in, however it's only a bridge to where we are meant to be.

I hope you all have a great Tuesday!! You are in my prayers daily!  

Much Love,

Ashleigh Mc

     

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               

Lessons from Leilani

Lessons From Leilani

Disclaimer: For those of us who knew her, even briefly, this will not be an easy message to write or to read. However I feel that Leilani taught me many things and she would want them shared. I did not intend to blog again so soon, however I am learning minute by  minute, my life is not about my intentions. So here it goes... :

Many of you may know already, I am blessed to be apart of an amazing group of people in a God sent mission with Room of Refuge. Our church partners with Hospice Family Care to provide a Room of Refuge for children who are suffering from terminal illness. It's extreme home makeover minimized. 

During the month of April, we were blessed with our First recipient, Ms. Leilani Lopez. What a blessing she and her family became to all of us during the process of creating her Refuge. On the day before Easter, we were able to provide Leilani with a day of fun and relaxation and the room of her dreams to become a Refuge. 

With an ultimate heavy heart, I must say this past weekend we were shown the meaning of the word terminal all too soon. On Friday, Leilani lost her battle with cancer, in her Room of Refuge and went home to be with her Creator. She now run with Angels and worships with Jesus. (of this I must say I am jealous!) I smile when I imagine her, full strength, not struggling to breath and caring for those around her. However, we I met Leilani, I met a girl who was struggling to survive. Finding strength to breath, and fell asleep just from the energy it took to ride in a car for 20 minutes. A child who ached physically, yet held the spirit of strength. I learned so much from Leilani in one day, but here are just a few lessons worth sharing: 

1. Concern for others:  Through out our entire day, Leilani expressed such a concern for her sisters and mother and aunt. Every time she was asked what color she would like her nails or if she needed anything, she would immediately turn around to get input from her family. While the girls were getting all dolled up, I repeatedly heard her asking if her sisters were having fun. While in the car, she repeatedly was apologizing to her mother for getting sick. In a world full of struggle for Leilani, she was concerned only for those she loved. I will strive constantly for the selflessness she showed that day. 

2. Joy for the little things: Her smile was priceless. When Leilani smiled cameras started flashing. She told me she didn't know she would have so many pictures made that day. But she would definitely give her best smile. Leilani knew the value of a smile. She knew she was creating memories which would remain after her call home. Skittles- she was so excited to just have skittles as her pedicure was being done. 

3. Acceeptance of the End: Leilani was very aware of her condition. Although her life was short, she was able to accept the fact, that this weekend may be her last Easter. She hurt not for herself, but her mother. In return, I hurt not for her but for her mother, her father, those who knew her much more closely than I. 

Leilani captured our hearts instantly. In the future, I am sure we will meet other children who do the same. I have the assurance that Leilani's work was done. Her objective complete. When I think of the lives Leilani changed just in the last two weeks, with our team at Rooms of Refuge, and the lives that will be impacted as we share her story for years to come I realize that on April 19, 2014, I was in the presence of an angel, a picture of whom I want to become. I am so happy to have been blessed by this precious life. 

If you would like to donate to Rooms of Refuge, please let me know! Hope you enjoyed getting to know Leilani just briefly! 

Check out Leilani's video at:  http://player.vimeo.com/video/93390607

Tomorrow we will all join in saying Goodbye to Leilani! Please send up a speical prayer for Pastor Jason Parks of Refuge Church that God will provide with words and strength to pay tribute to this sweet life!

Much love until next time: 

-Ashleigh Mc!

Well...HELLO!

Here's to New Beginnings!

I guess to understand the beginning, you need to know the end. I do not dive into my past too much. Although there were many lessons learned, it's not a place I like to dwell. I have found that happens a lot with people who experience such a drastic change in their life. None the less, for all intensive purposes here we go..

Let's start at high-school graduation. Shortly after, I met the father of my children. 

He was a member of the military + I wanted out of Scottsboro.= We married in October. 

Our first daughter was born the next month. Subsequently, we had two additional children. This marriage lasted for a little over 9 years, and to keep it simple, definitely not wedded bliss. I will refrain from my opinion of blame or reasoning as to why the marriage fell apart, aside from this...I take responsibility for my actions, and feel if I did not it would be a lie. There are many actions, I am not proud of during this time period, however the most being that I completely shut God out of our marriage. My husband at the time had no respect for our creator, and we did not put any focus on the requirements set forth by Him for our marriage. It was a mess. 

After all the deceit, lies, and betrayal (on both sides), it was the words of my child that sealed the deal. One night, it was said to me, "Mommy, why do you let Daddy be so mean to you?"

Immediately, I was terrified. The thought of my children having this as an example for marriage was enough to invoke immediate action. 

Time passed and it was done. 

Following my divorce, mistakes were made, priorities were crazy. There was a sense of freedom. I loved the time it allowed me to spend with my children. However when they were with their dad, there was no telling what I would be doing or where I would be. I remember thinking, I can do what I want. My time is my own. My body is my own. I was SO wrong.

It was about this time, God showed up and he showed up BIG! 

And This Is The Beginning

My life began to change the night I officially met Corey McMullen. He was divorced himself, and had a daughter whom I have grown to love as my own. We were both in a place or selfishness. Neither of us proud of our Walk with God. Both with a passion for music and optimistic view on life. Both of us holding on to our independence. I wasn't ready to commit to anyone. I felt as though I needed more time to find myself. Little did I know, God had put Corey there to help me do it! 

It was a lesson in the rough. Corey didn't know he was suppose to be the one to help me. As our relationship developed, we began discussing our spiritual walk. Neither of us were happy with it, and felt that if our relationship was going to succeed, we would have to make this right in our life. Shortly after, we found Refuge church.  What a blessing that has been. 

We married in January and have been facing the world together with God at our side daily since then. Marriage is not easy, and I will be the first to tell you, just changing the partner isn't the answer. We are blending a family and living in two cities, both running businesses and are active in our church. We have 4 children now to raise. These are not however our problems, they are our blessings. Looking to God is the answer. We do it daily. We pray together, and search His scripture for answers we may seek. How Grateful I am for a husband, who is serving with me daily. 

If you knew me a year ago, and you were to meet me today, you would not know me anymore. I count this as my most prized blessing! It is also my reasoning for this blog. Hopefully you will find encouragement here and also insight to what my life is now. 

I have no clue what is to come in our lives, but I have never been MORE excited! God is good. Good things come to those who follow him. I feel that He is working in our lives, and I am so excited to see what He has planned. 

Bring it on 2014!

-Ashleigh McMullen