Merry Christmas to All and to All a Good Night

Merry Christmas to All and To All A Good Night!

     In a little over an hour, it will officially be Christmas. What an amazing time of year. Christmas has been good to me every since I could remember, and maybe because of that, it is my absolute favorite time of year. From the beginning of November, I begin thinking about how I want to decorate the house. Tonight as sitting in my bed, my heart is full.
     What a great year it has been. This blog's beginning came with such a change in the lives of my children and myself, the lives of my husband and his daughter. It has been a year full of joy, fear, pain,  but above all else, a year of blessing.
     The first change in my life, was my relationship with my Creator. Little over a year ago, I began a walk with my Lord and Savior, provider and Judge. This caused me to evaluate many things in my life. Some of the temptations of life which held so important to me merely vanished. Taken from me and replaced with the Holy Spirit. Others of them, I still struggle with daily. But the full knowledge of knowing I am Finally doing what God put me on this earth to do, striving to be the example I am commanded to be, reveals to me a peace I have never known.
     Aside from that, I married my soul mate. My divorce was one of the most intense struggles I have ever experienced, and it continues to be. There were many reasons my first marriage failed. Faults assigned to both sides. During the year of 2012, there were so many things happening in my life. I questioned God alot. I could not see how this could turn out well. Well this struggle isn't over. I am still in the midst of court battles and things like that. But in the process, I met the man, God had planned for me to marry. There were things I had to learn. Most importantly, I had to learn God had to be at the head of my marriage. Corey and I strive every moment to make sure he remains there. Life happens. I would love to paint the picture of a perfect marriage. But we all know that is not reality. All marriages have strengths and weaknesses, but I testify that there is no support equal to that of a spouse. No matter how we may see things, or how hard blending a family may be, Corey has never left my side, and I intend to never leave his. The joy of finding Corey can not truly be spoken.
   There have been so many blessings in this year. God first, Family next, a job I love, a boss who is amazing, and friends who lift me up. I can not wait too see what our future holds.
    This is the last post for this blog. Beginning in 2015, I will be taking the notion of a #LOVEREVOLUTION....
     This is nothing new, and we have all seen it before. Given the current state of the world we live in, I dare to argue we have NEVER needed it more. It's time to Love Irrationally. Radically. I intend to do so. To love all and encourage others to do the same. Stay Tuned, you will DEFINITELY be hearing from me on this issue!
LOVE GOD/LOVE PEOPLE>>>PERIOD!

See you in 2015- Ashleigh Mc
   
     

I Miss Me..

.........Officially the worst blogger ever. Looking backwards, was only 2 months since the last two. Presuming I just quit writing.
          Why is that? That question, followed by a few others led to the inspiration for the next few paragraphs you have subjected yourself to.

           When I was a little girl, I was blessed to be raised in a family that was solid. We may not have been prime family of my hometown. But I woke up each morning, and feel asleep each night certain of it. I knew my dad and my mom would be there in the morning, knew my brothers would too. Never had to worry about a roof over my head or support on the things I wanted to do. My parents about killed themselves carrying us from one practice to another. I developed a love for so many things.
          One of which was writing. Man, I loved to sit in an empty room with a piece of paper and pen. Just sit there. Open my mind and see what I could create on a blank piece of paper. I never knew if it would be a poem, lyrics, or just spouting my mind onto the canvas in-front of me.
           Music--any of you who know me, know I am passionate about this. There have been many times in my life were music has been my outlet to pull me through. Also, those in which it led me astray. Nothing beat my passion for music.
          Until, I started writing it! Two of my favorite things in one! Brillant. I LOVED to write. To escape into a world where there was no day, no night. Sometimes forgetting to eat until my stomach reminded me. A time when nothing mattered accept melody, harmony, and lyrics. Hours of Brillance.
          All of this leads me to my point for this little blog, I MISS ME!
Now, I am all grown up. Hit the big 30 this year. I am very blessed. There have been struggles, however, life is falling into place. I have an amazing job, great family, positive, God fearing friends. It is a life most would dream of. Most days, this life is all I ever dreamed it would be, and this blog is in no way a complaint or woe is me.....I just miss me.
          Who am I? ---I am wife, mom, boss, house keeper, referee, sheriff, listener, advice giver. All of these are good things. But where is me?
           I miss me. I miss the passion behind my writing. I miss getting lost in hours with no time. I miss taking a blank piece of paper and making it something. I miss sharing a meal with someone over intelligent conversation, with no boundary of time or thoughts.
           I miss when I was fun. The life of the party. I remember the days when my husband called me the total package. I'm certain now this is no longer his opinion. The stress of a job, family and home have really gotten to me. I can not enjoy time with the kids, for fear of the mess they are making. I can not enjoy time with my husband, because I am too worried about how we no longer date like we used to. I can not enjoy time at my home, because of the things that are just waiting to be done.
    There is no lesson or wisdom to be found here. That is about all I have. But maybe someone will read this and know that tonight, as they sit in their home, and the rest of the world looks in seeing the life she works so hard to put together, know she is not alone in feeling like maybe the glue is just loosening it's grasp.

Keep Praying,
--Much Love

Ashleigh Mc

Once upon a time

Written for those i know who often hurt in silence. 

Once upon a time, he vowed to never hurt her and never see her cry

So sure was he that be promised to take her by his side.

Tears now flow in darkness bc the light brings no valadation

Just more guilt to carry and emotions to question. 

Nothing is gained by the liquid on her cheeks, 

It Only Hurts His spirit--These Tears They Must Not Speak

For the only thing that hurts worse than the inadequacy he conjures

Is the awareness that she may breed it in the one standing before her

so again she dries these tears and looks above for strength. 

For tomorrow she must waken with the will to move on 

in hopes that her once upon a time is not truly gone.

Keep praying

-@mc

Praise Report

No Questions JUST Thanks

     Good Afternoon Bloggers, Social Media, Family, and Friends! I hope that each of you is having a great day living out the Life God has given you! It has been a minute since I have blogged, however today I can barely type fast enough!! 

     I have struggle often with prayer. Sometimes, I feel that I ask way more than I show gratitude when speaking to our Savior. For today, I want to focus on just Praising Him who created us, loved us, and gave His Son to die for our regrets, whether they be past or future. 

     This morning after getting up early, cooking breakfast, mild home chores, and getting all the kiddos ready for school, we left the house. Corey and Khlo off to West Madison, and the other three and myself to Monrovia Elementary! As the kids got out of the car, I kissed them all, told him to have a great day, Cole not to hit anyone, and let them out into the world. I had to wait there for a moment to allow the car infront of me to finish their unload. While I did, I hear this sweet little "Bye Mom-I love you, Bye Mom!" I look right and my son, so grown and big is walking into the gym himself. In front of his sisters, he walks with excitement and all the while repeating this sentence and waving. My heart was FULL! The girls behind him a little more anxious. They had a good day yesterday, but admittedly a little older and that makes it harder. I then went off to the Doctor, and even found gratitude that my Co-Pay went down. Off to Khlo's school because she forgot her glasses, and finally headed to work. I will spend the next couple hours catching up on some work I have left over for the week. Then return to pick up kids, talk about days, cook dinner, and rest into bed all sleeping sound upstairs with the love of my life beside me! 

Gratitude has hit me like a TON of Bricks!!

    Today--- I will not ask for ANYTHING! Just PRAISE my God for allowing my life to be where it is today! 

Giving thanks for a Creator who loved me before I entered this world, and Placed me into it with a plan for His will. Who came out of Heaven in the Form of a Man to DIE for the mistakes I have made and will in the future, to make a way for the children I did not know I would have to live with us eternally when I am called home. 

Giving thanks for an amazing husband who provides beyond requirement, enthusiastically. Who carries his load in our home. Loves me irrationally, and stands beside me with pride.

 Giving thanks for my 4 amazing children, those whom I brought into this world, and my Bonus child!

 Giving thanks for Khloieys mother for raising her and being so great with Corey and myself in the efforts to ensure Khlo has a safe, healthly upbringing. For her concern for my childen, and acceptance of them as Khloiey's step children.

 Thanks for parents and a family who will stand by and support me no matter the mistakes I have made, or if they are in agreeance with my decisions and the discernment to know the difference. 

Thanks for the ROCK who is my father. The patience he exudes with myself and my siblings. The love he shows to my children. The wisdom he lives. 

Thanks for the CONSTANTANCE of my mother, who gives WILLINGLY of herself for myself and my children. 

Giving thanks for the Roof that is over my head, the vehicle that transports my children.

Thanks for small co-pays. HAHA  (it's the little things)

After I look back and re-read over this list. There is SO much to add, but for sake of time, I will not. I can't help but ask myself, "How amazing would my life be, if I lived EVERY day this Thankful!?" Not just an unspoken gratitude that is assumed, but a very LITERAL and IRRATIONAL gratitude. To be alive, and breathing, and walking in God's Purpose for my life! 

Automatically there comes a sense of endurance, peace, happiness I have NEVER experienced before! 

Today I Urge you, Find the Irrational Gratitude inside of you. Tell those you are thankful for, thank you! And Praise God Almighty, who makes it ALL possible! 

MUCH LOVE

Ashleigh MC!

SILENT STORMS

SILENT STORMS

    Well....I did not expect to blog again so soon. It is easy for these things to become monotonous. That is not my intention, therefore I try to not blog to often. But in the past few days I have really felt a brokenness in my heart, and writing is sort-of my therapy, so here it goes! 

    

    Today, I hurt for those who do not hurt publicly. I am privileged to know some strong people in my life. Looking from the outside, you would never know the trouble in their heart. Work is well, children are happy, smiles at church, but behind their walls something is missing, or even tormenting them. They are often the very people who try to share happiness with the world. Recently, I've learned those people hurt to. And I think we slight them quite often, by not asking. 

    I do not mean we should inquire as to what is wrong with everyone. However, not to take for granted just because the show is smiles, the soul is also. Life affects us all. Spouses fight, children stress, work weakens. 

    I suggest by investing in someone to listen to them. You just may be the ear they need to release whatever is holding them back. 

    The trouble with those of strength is they do not reveal often. They are not able to take the advice they so often give. Aware of the need to change their outlook, and consciously change their attitude only creating anger and guilt for not being able to do so.   They will hurt internally until pieces of them die. All of the sudden, those who once seemed so strong, look tired. These people need encouragement too. 

   I truly feel the worst thing you can do is dismiss someone's problems. Whether by denying them, or justifying why they are that way. Reality is that does NOT work. Whether you feel they are justified or not, people's feelings are real. Is it so hard for us to just empathize with someone we love and provide their needs? 

   --Off Soap Box--

I URGE YOU TO ENCOURAGE SOMEONE TODAY! 

MUCH LOVE,

ASHLEIGH MC!

Forgiveness

Forgiveness

     What does it really mean? Do people honestly forgive? I always heard Forgive and Forget. What exactly does that mean? Can you forgive someone truthfully without forgetting? Am I suppose to literally forget the even never happened? Is harboring a grudge a sin? What does God say about this? Is forgiveness a noun or verb? I have struggled with this for years. I defiantly do not think I have it figured out, however I do think I have a better understanding after the past few days of studying this than I ever did before. I always debate what to blog or if to blog, however seems as though today, God has sent me a GREEN light on this one. 

    By definition (Webster via Google because who actually LOOKS in a dictionary anymore) 

Forgiveness: Noun- The action or process of forgiving or being forgiven. WELL- That is not much help, so onward we dig...

Forgive: Verb- Stop feeling angry or resentful for flaw or mistake. 

NOW WE ARE GETTING SOMEWHERE!!!

   Seems pretty simple. We just have to stop feeling? Shouldn't be too hard. However, via FBI statistics as of June 2014, Murder rates have increased higher than most developed countries. It is hard for me not to believe that many of these are due to the inability to forgive. This is a real problem. The answer to this is the answer to PEACE. I want it to be clear, that I believe "feelings" are intentional. As stated in the above definition, to stop FEELING is a verb. This means, it requires an action. Don't get me wrong, there are events which happen in our lives that require emotional response obviously. But I want to set the groundwork, that I truly believe we are in control of our feelings, therefore we have the foundation to accept accountability ourselves and subsequently take action. Hopefully impacting our environment and surroundings for good. 

    I often find that I think I have forgiven, and dealt with opposition, only to realize, I am still holding on. The words of one of my pastors comes to mind, who said "You've got to deal with your STUFF, you may have thought you did, but you got to really DEAL with it. LET it go COMPLETELY!!" (This pretty much sums up the whole blog, so don't feel  you have to continue reading, haha, but If you'd like go ahead).... 

FORGIVE AND FORGET

    Our great Savior makes it pretty clear. We are commanded to Forgive those who oppress us (Mark 11:26). If do not forgive the mistakes of others, we can not expect ours to be forgiven. I know this is hard. I struggle with this daily. But I am too stubborn to give up my home in Heaven, because I held on to the anger I allowed into my heart for someone who didn't care enough about me to not hurt me. Secondly to that- the Lord sets an example for us in Hebrews 10:16f when it is written "Their sins and their iniquities will I remember no more." The biggest shoes  we will forever and with no fulfillment reach for, are those of our Creator. But in striving to be closer to Him daily, I think we must not only forgive, but forget. 

   I do not think this means we literally do not remember, because often these moments in our lives are impactful. But YOU GOT TO LET IT GO! Don't bring it up again. Once it is dealt with, let it die. In moments of anger or disappointment moving forward, fight the temptation to pull it out of the arsenal as ammunition. If you find yourself in a relationship with someone who can not let it go, who continues to blame his or her actions on it, or bases how they treat you on it--it may be time to..walk away.

WHEN TO WALK AWAY 

So, am I to convict myself I have to just continue to allow people to walk on and hurt me? Do I have to take abuse whether it be physical, mental, or spiritual? What if I did do wrong? What if someone is hurting me because of a mistake I have made initially? 

    We are all entitled to mistakes. It is what makes us HUMAN! However, we are commanded to make them right. I truly feel if you have done everything in your power to make it right, and maybe those you've hurt can not forgive, or even just not yet, WALK AWAY. If you feel you can not longer continue a relationship with that person, turn around and move on. It will only hold you down and affect those whom are around you. Staying in an unhealthy situation will infect you.  

    Disclaimer: I do not feel RUNNING is the answer. I feel strongly that although that seems as the easy way out--It's NOT! This was always my go to, my safe place previously. It never is the right answer. You end up alone, and nothing is complete. 

I conclude with this: 

Romans 12:17f--Render to no man evil for evil. Take thought for things honorable in the sight of all men. If it be possible, as much as in you lieth, be at peace with all men. Avenge not yourselves, beloved, but give place unto the wrath of God: for it is written, "Vengeance belongeth unto me; I will recompense, saith the Lord. But if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire upon his head. Be not Overcome of evil, but overcome evil with GOOD! 

SO- Good LUCK! Keep praying, Keep Loving! 

    

The Past

Hey Hey!

 Just sitting in my room.

 TV is on something, but couldn't tell you what. 

All the Kids are sleeping. 

Corey is at Praise and Worship rehearsal! 

DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS>>

This means that I AM ALONE!! This does not happen often. So, what should I do? My brain can't help but think. The past few months there has been so much change in my life. All of it for the better. I have never been so happy as I am now. But with all growth comes some struggle. Unfortunately, I have been forced to open doors of my past and expunge the lies that was created from it. This process has been a blessing in that it shows me just how far I have come. However, my A.D.H.D. brain will not stop there. I have gone on to ponder on this place of existence, the Past! 

Most of these thoughts have only brought questions. It is so abnormal to look back on your life and really feel as though you have lived two. What part of what is behind you do you bring forward? Where do you draw the line between lessons learned and being a slave to your mistakes? 

I have found peace that I have been forgiven for my Sins. The past is no more in the eyes of my God. However, humanity isn't always as kind. Few people believe in true maturation and change. I used to be the person. I was very judgmental of people who professed to had changed. How must we respond to these people? As a follower of God, who strives only to serve Him, how are we to respond to those who only for reason of our past, judge the change within us? 

And-there are others' past. The past of those whom have entered into our lives. In the midst of all the blessing they may bring, how do you handle the lives they have lived? I do not mean one of sin, or their ability to move on. I genuinely am searching for the ability to not compare myself, or lives to the remnants of another. 

Conclusion: Choose Wisely who  you share intimate moments with. And I do not just mean sexual ones. I mean life events. Things that can never be replaced. I can only conclude the BEST way to deal with the past is contemplate your future. One of the biggest realizations I have come to recently is how important the decisions I made either for an escape or just being stubborn, were. 

Make memories with those you love and those who love you. Invest in those who will invest in you. Realize there are SEASONS in your life. Very few people you come into contact with will remain with you forever. Appreciate the ones who do, and learn from the ones who don't. 

Above all, Lean on YOUR creator! Search his word. Accept Him as your Savior, and Take everything to Him. He will always be with you. He will never hold something you did two years ago against you. He will guide your life in the way HE has planned for you. And it will be BETTER than anything you have Ever known. My wish for you is all these. That you also may find yourself alone, reveling in the blessings He has given you. 

And with that MY HUBBY is HOME :) 

Good Night :) 

Find your Purpose then Loose Yourself

Hello again! It has been a minute since my last blog! First, I hope you are all well and enjoying blessings daily. While doing some preparation today, I ran across some material and did some thinking...result

NEW BLOG POST! 

Hope you Enjoy!

I feel so blessed to witness God working every day I awaken. It is amazing the things that have been opened to me since embracing the freedom only my Creator can give. Recently, Pastor Jason has began leading our church in a message on Legacy. With the passion I carry for leadership, I am ULTRA excited about this series. I literally count down to Sunday. This, partnered today with my passion, as I was asked to do some leadership training again. Oh, how I miss leadership training. 

While I was doing some research to prepare for the next couple of weeks in secular business, I was revived. I could feel the energy in my hands as I wrote agendas for the training, set goals on what we wanted to accomplish, identified obstacles we may encounter. Even thinking about it, I get butterflies. However, today was different. While preparing the training today, I noticed that I pulled quite a bit of the information from notes I had written in church on Sunday! And that my friends, is the conception of this blog!

Tonight, I want to pose to you a challenge.

 It's not directly from me. It is found within the depths of all of you. It most definitely was in me. It is the motivation to move forward. It is the question that keeps us up at night. It is the quest that often times is never finished. In it's absence, it is the cause of harmful choices. It is the challenge to:

 Find Your Purpose

We have heard of this. It is nothing new. However, I promise you the challenge does not end there. I also challenge you to:

Loose Yourself

 We are all created with Purpose. We were deliberately created. We are not the result of some random explosion. We were made by a divine Creator and Savior, and He has distinct plans for you! (Jeremiah: 29:11)

I know what you are thinking. "Ok, if I was created with a purpose, how do I find it?" 

What are you Passionate about? 

Passion is the great energizer. Most often in life, passion links with Purpose. Passion always stands out and sets you apart from the crowd. Passion breeds hope. When things seem impossible, it is the very core of what will keep you going. We were never promised living out our purpose will be easy. Eventually you will need the energy produced to take the extra step, step out of your comfort zone, walk deeper into the ocean. 

What are you Good at? 

What are your strengths? What Gifts do you have? God gave you gifts. When you find them, you will be good at them. You will be energized by them. You will have the Opportunity to use them, and create the capacity to develop them. 

This reminds me of something I teach leaders regarding Positioning people. It is called the Quadrant of Doing Theory. This theory encourages people to find their quadrant of doing, which is made up of what one likes to do and what he/she is good at. This is success. 

When I think of success and finding purpose, I can't help but then to ask myself, "What is the difference between success and significance?"  Honestly, there was once a time when I didn't feel there was a difference. But today it was so clearly revealed to me.

Success adds Value to Ones Self, Significance adds Value to Others.

There are very few people I have came across in my life that get this part right. My mother in law, Janet McMullen, is one of these people. She is the professor that will never retire. The one whose job is so much more than the courses she teaches. She found her purpose, and lost herself. Spending many times investing in her students, praying with them, teaching them. Living with a hotline to Heaven. Praying for others daily. 

When your purpose becomes bigger than you, you lose yourself. We often begin because we want to make a difference. If you then strive to make a difference doing something that makes a difference beyond you, you are beginning to lose yourself. Even more maturing to making a difference doing something that makes a difference beyond yourself with other people who make a difference. You are becoming significant.

Jesus tells us in Mark 8: 34-35 "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life would lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel's will save it." If you are bigger than your purpose you have a career, however when your purpose becomes bigger than you, you have a calling. Imagine putting your purpose to work with people that has eternal factors involved. This my friends, is a whole other level of living. 

That is all my friends- I wish you all blessing and love. 

--Everytime you put ALL of you into someone else, something bigger, EVERYTHING changes.--

-Ashleigh Mc

Letter To Me...

A Letter To Me-

If I could rewind pages, and see what I have seen,

Take all of my lessons, and write a letter to me,

What kind of solution would it give my Heart today?

I may not know the answer, but Here is what'd I'd say.

Lift your heart to Heaven at a younger age,

Bind up your rebellion, hit your knees, and beg for God's grace.

It's not that important, in the grand scheme of things,

Don't sacrifice yourself for someone else's dreams.

There's more to your existence, than what you see today,

God is there waiting, hoping you will soon find your way.

Your days shall soon be filled with temptation, you will not be able to bear,

Hold onto He who knows you, 

LET GO OF YOUR FEAR!

The comfort you so desperately seek, from your choices in men,

Lies in your Heavenly FATHER,

Let Him take away your sin!

LET HIM IN!

Surrender, yea I know, for your that's hard to take,

But I've seen you when it's over,

and He guides each step you make!

I've seen that light shine through you, and the happiness He brings,

When your goal becomes to only amplify the story of our King!

I've felt the  peace within you, that you so desperately crave,

When you give ALL to Jesus, 

and sent your sins to the Grave.

Be still sweet child, He's waiting, Your path has just begun,

And even when you are forgiven, there's still a race to run.

Trials will befall you, because they are what make your grow!

Your going to question which way you need to go,

Lift your heart to heaven, fall upon your Knees,

Hold Closely To Your Savior,

Let Him Guide Your Feet.

 Although, I can not go back, and speak these words to me,

they will live inside my children and all those who may wish to read!

That maybe some young girl, with a longing to be loved,

or maybe just someone who doesn't know how their hole was dug,

Someone looking for direction, or just encouragement,

May get a little peace in knowing, I've been where you have been!

----Much Love! 

Ashleigh Mc

Small Blessings

Good Morning! 

What a beautiful Tuesday Morning! One of my greatest blessings recently is my drive into work. Although losing 12 hours a week to the road is not ideal, it does give me a lot of God time. I have began spending my mornings either with devotionals or in prayer. This is such an amazing way to start the day. A great way to put things in perspective. This morning, I had a few revelations, I thought I would share. 

1. What a glorious creation: 

               While on the way in this morning, and every morning the past couple of weeks, with the time change, my scenery has changed tremendously. Instead of driving in the darkness, I now leave the sunrise behind me. It is an amazing sight. I have tried to think of ways to safely capture it in film. Often the moon is in front of me and the sun is coming up in my rear view mirror. Leads me to the analogy, that sometimes although we make changes in seasons in our life, there may be some light in our past. Lessons that shine like the sun to enlighten our future. Don't be afraid of your mistakes or the things you've left behind. Analyze them as you move forward. Often the teachers of the New Testament, even Jesus our Savior, used examples from the Old law to teach us things. 

2. The Christian army is the most quick to shoot it's wounded:

               Clarity on this hit me like a ton of bricks this morning. While listening to Dr. Meyer's "Divorce Conspiracy" this morning, he stated that if Jesus were to come back to minister today, he wouldn't be accepted at most of His churches. I completely agree with this. The picture we are given in the inspired Word of Jesus is one of a Man who was not an island into himself, but one who got involved in the ugly in the world and shined so brightly, people would clean up their lives! The picture of a man who LOVED irrationally. Who was Merciful! Whose desire is that ALL would come to Him! I truly believe that loving people irrationally is the answer. This only strengthens my faith in Refuge Church and Jason Parks! While speaking to Corey this morning on the phone after I finished the CD, I told him that I think if Jesus did take on a physical body today and come back to earth he and Pastor Jason would probably be best friends! It gives me great comfort to see the life of Jesus is my Pastor. (Church Plug--If you do not have a church family, Refuge just may be the avenue waiting to change your life!!--if Definitely was mine!)   

Once at the Office......

My sweet friend Abby has lost a good friend today. My heart is with her for all the void that is and is to come in the next few days, weeks, months, and years. I wish for fast healing for her. 

I learned something from her though, as she was walking off, at the age of 24 with all of life in front of her, a blessing escaped her lips. She said "Life is so short..." This got me thinking. No offense, but it's not overly philosophical just the right statement at the right time. (I call these angel kisses.) Over he past few months death has been pretty close to home for me. However, I have found comfort in knowing that death is not the end, for me it's only the beginning. God's design has a lesson for all of us. I pray I remain this aware of my mortality, and keep the Goal of a life in Heaven on my heart always. It is so easy to get caught up in the world we now live in, however it's only a bridge to where we are meant to be.

I hope you all have a great Tuesday!! You are in my prayers daily!  

Much Love,

Ashleigh Mc

     

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               

Lessons from Leilani

Lessons From Leilani

Disclaimer: For those of us who knew her, even briefly, this will not be an easy message to write or to read. However I feel that Leilani taught me many things and she would want them shared. I did not intend to blog again so soon, however I am learning minute by  minute, my life is not about my intentions. So here it goes... :

Many of you may know already, I am blessed to be apart of an amazing group of people in a God sent mission with Room of Refuge. Our church partners with Hospice Family Care to provide a Room of Refuge for children who are suffering from terminal illness. It's extreme home makeover minimized. 

During the month of April, we were blessed with our First recipient, Ms. Leilani Lopez. What a blessing she and her family became to all of us during the process of creating her Refuge. On the day before Easter, we were able to provide Leilani with a day of fun and relaxation and the room of her dreams to become a Refuge. 

With an ultimate heavy heart, I must say this past weekend we were shown the meaning of the word terminal all too soon. On Friday, Leilani lost her battle with cancer, in her Room of Refuge and went home to be with her Creator. She now run with Angels and worships with Jesus. (of this I must say I am jealous!) I smile when I imagine her, full strength, not struggling to breath and caring for those around her. However, we I met Leilani, I met a girl who was struggling to survive. Finding strength to breath, and fell asleep just from the energy it took to ride in a car for 20 minutes. A child who ached physically, yet held the spirit of strength. I learned so much from Leilani in one day, but here are just a few lessons worth sharing: 

1. Concern for others:  Through out our entire day, Leilani expressed such a concern for her sisters and mother and aunt. Every time she was asked what color she would like her nails or if she needed anything, she would immediately turn around to get input from her family. While the girls were getting all dolled up, I repeatedly heard her asking if her sisters were having fun. While in the car, she repeatedly was apologizing to her mother for getting sick. In a world full of struggle for Leilani, she was concerned only for those she loved. I will strive constantly for the selflessness she showed that day. 

2. Joy for the little things: Her smile was priceless. When Leilani smiled cameras started flashing. She told me she didn't know she would have so many pictures made that day. But she would definitely give her best smile. Leilani knew the value of a smile. She knew she was creating memories which would remain after her call home. Skittles- she was so excited to just have skittles as her pedicure was being done. 

3. Acceeptance of the End: Leilani was very aware of her condition. Although her life was short, she was able to accept the fact, that this weekend may be her last Easter. She hurt not for herself, but her mother. In return, I hurt not for her but for her mother, her father, those who knew her much more closely than I. 

Leilani captured our hearts instantly. In the future, I am sure we will meet other children who do the same. I have the assurance that Leilani's work was done. Her objective complete. When I think of the lives Leilani changed just in the last two weeks, with our team at Rooms of Refuge, and the lives that will be impacted as we share her story for years to come I realize that on April 19, 2014, I was in the presence of an angel, a picture of whom I want to become. I am so happy to have been blessed by this precious life. 

If you would like to donate to Rooms of Refuge, please let me know! Hope you enjoyed getting to know Leilani just briefly! 

Check out Leilani's video at:  http://player.vimeo.com/video/93390607

Tomorrow we will all join in saying Goodbye to Leilani! Please send up a speical prayer for Pastor Jason Parks of Refuge Church that God will provide with words and strength to pay tribute to this sweet life!

Much love until next time: 

-Ashleigh Mc!

Well...HELLO!

Here's to New Beginnings!

I guess to understand the beginning, you need to know the end. I do not dive into my past too much. Although there were many lessons learned, it's not a place I like to dwell. I have found that happens a lot with people who experience such a drastic change in their life. None the less, for all intensive purposes here we go..

Let's start at high-school graduation. Shortly after, I met the father of my children. 

He was a member of the military + I wanted out of Scottsboro.= We married in October. 

Our first daughter was born the next month. Subsequently, we had two additional children. This marriage lasted for a little over 9 years, and to keep it simple, definitely not wedded bliss. I will refrain from my opinion of blame or reasoning as to why the marriage fell apart, aside from this...I take responsibility for my actions, and feel if I did not it would be a lie. There are many actions, I am not proud of during this time period, however the most being that I completely shut God out of our marriage. My husband at the time had no respect for our creator, and we did not put any focus on the requirements set forth by Him for our marriage. It was a mess. 

After all the deceit, lies, and betrayal (on both sides), it was the words of my child that sealed the deal. One night, it was said to me, "Mommy, why do you let Daddy be so mean to you?"

Immediately, I was terrified. The thought of my children having this as an example for marriage was enough to invoke immediate action. 

Time passed and it was done. 

Following my divorce, mistakes were made, priorities were crazy. There was a sense of freedom. I loved the time it allowed me to spend with my children. However when they were with their dad, there was no telling what I would be doing or where I would be. I remember thinking, I can do what I want. My time is my own. My body is my own. I was SO wrong.

It was about this time, God showed up and he showed up BIG! 

And This Is The Beginning

My life began to change the night I officially met Corey McMullen. He was divorced himself, and had a daughter whom I have grown to love as my own. We were both in a place or selfishness. Neither of us proud of our Walk with God. Both with a passion for music and optimistic view on life. Both of us holding on to our independence. I wasn't ready to commit to anyone. I felt as though I needed more time to find myself. Little did I know, God had put Corey there to help me do it! 

It was a lesson in the rough. Corey didn't know he was suppose to be the one to help me. As our relationship developed, we began discussing our spiritual walk. Neither of us were happy with it, and felt that if our relationship was going to succeed, we would have to make this right in our life. Shortly after, we found Refuge church.  What a blessing that has been. 

We married in January and have been facing the world together with God at our side daily since then. Marriage is not easy, and I will be the first to tell you, just changing the partner isn't the answer. We are blending a family and living in two cities, both running businesses and are active in our church. We have 4 children now to raise. These are not however our problems, they are our blessings. Looking to God is the answer. We do it daily. We pray together, and search His scripture for answers we may seek. How Grateful I am for a husband, who is serving with me daily. 

If you knew me a year ago, and you were to meet me today, you would not know me anymore. I count this as my most prized blessing! It is also my reasoning for this blog. Hopefully you will find encouragement here and also insight to what my life is now. 

I have no clue what is to come in our lives, but I have never been MORE excited! God is good. Good things come to those who follow him. I feel that He is working in our lives, and I am so excited to see what He has planned. 

Bring it on 2014!

-Ashleigh McMullen