Forgiveness

Forgiveness

     What does it really mean? Do people honestly forgive? I always heard Forgive and Forget. What exactly does that mean? Can you forgive someone truthfully without forgetting? Am I suppose to literally forget the even never happened? Is harboring a grudge a sin? What does God say about this? Is forgiveness a noun or verb? I have struggled with this for years. I defiantly do not think I have it figured out, however I do think I have a better understanding after the past few days of studying this than I ever did before. I always debate what to blog or if to blog, however seems as though today, God has sent me a GREEN light on this one. 

    By definition (Webster via Google because who actually LOOKS in a dictionary anymore) 

Forgiveness: Noun- The action or process of forgiving or being forgiven. WELL- That is not much help, so onward we dig...

Forgive: Verb- Stop feeling angry or resentful for flaw or mistake. 

NOW WE ARE GETTING SOMEWHERE!!!

   Seems pretty simple. We just have to stop feeling? Shouldn't be too hard. However, via FBI statistics as of June 2014, Murder rates have increased higher than most developed countries. It is hard for me not to believe that many of these are due to the inability to forgive. This is a real problem. The answer to this is the answer to PEACE. I want it to be clear, that I believe "feelings" are intentional. As stated in the above definition, to stop FEELING is a verb. This means, it requires an action. Don't get me wrong, there are events which happen in our lives that require emotional response obviously. But I want to set the groundwork, that I truly believe we are in control of our feelings, therefore we have the foundation to accept accountability ourselves and subsequently take action. Hopefully impacting our environment and surroundings for good. 

    I often find that I think I have forgiven, and dealt with opposition, only to realize, I am still holding on. The words of one of my pastors comes to mind, who said "You've got to deal with your STUFF, you may have thought you did, but you got to really DEAL with it. LET it go COMPLETELY!!" (This pretty much sums up the whole blog, so don't feel  you have to continue reading, haha, but If you'd like go ahead).... 

FORGIVE AND FORGET

    Our great Savior makes it pretty clear. We are commanded to Forgive those who oppress us (Mark 11:26). If do not forgive the mistakes of others, we can not expect ours to be forgiven. I know this is hard. I struggle with this daily. But I am too stubborn to give up my home in Heaven, because I held on to the anger I allowed into my heart for someone who didn't care enough about me to not hurt me. Secondly to that- the Lord sets an example for us in Hebrews 10:16f when it is written "Their sins and their iniquities will I remember no more." The biggest shoes  we will forever and with no fulfillment reach for, are those of our Creator. But in striving to be closer to Him daily, I think we must not only forgive, but forget. 

   I do not think this means we literally do not remember, because often these moments in our lives are impactful. But YOU GOT TO LET IT GO! Don't bring it up again. Once it is dealt with, let it die. In moments of anger or disappointment moving forward, fight the temptation to pull it out of the arsenal as ammunition. If you find yourself in a relationship with someone who can not let it go, who continues to blame his or her actions on it, or bases how they treat you on it--it may be time to..walk away.

WHEN TO WALK AWAY 

So, am I to convict myself I have to just continue to allow people to walk on and hurt me? Do I have to take abuse whether it be physical, mental, or spiritual? What if I did do wrong? What if someone is hurting me because of a mistake I have made initially? 

    We are all entitled to mistakes. It is what makes us HUMAN! However, we are commanded to make them right. I truly feel if you have done everything in your power to make it right, and maybe those you've hurt can not forgive, or even just not yet, WALK AWAY. If you feel you can not longer continue a relationship with that person, turn around and move on. It will only hold you down and affect those whom are around you. Staying in an unhealthy situation will infect you.  

    Disclaimer: I do not feel RUNNING is the answer. I feel strongly that although that seems as the easy way out--It's NOT! This was always my go to, my safe place previously. It never is the right answer. You end up alone, and nothing is complete. 

I conclude with this: 

Romans 12:17f--Render to no man evil for evil. Take thought for things honorable in the sight of all men. If it be possible, as much as in you lieth, be at peace with all men. Avenge not yourselves, beloved, but give place unto the wrath of God: for it is written, "Vengeance belongeth unto me; I will recompense, saith the Lord. But if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire upon his head. Be not Overcome of evil, but overcome evil with GOOD! 

SO- Good LUCK! Keep praying, Keep Loving!